Funniest And Most Unnecessary Testimony We Have Heard In Church
It is a common practice in every church that people come out and give a testimony about something miraculous that happened to them in the course of the week.
While some people come out and give testimonies that renders the brethren speechless and touched to the marrows.
Some others come out with the most inconsequential of things. Which might be due to attention they want to get or that aw religious they are. imagine someone coming out to give testimony about cockroach appearing in the night and she killing it and now she believes its her enemies that sent the cockroach.
The one where a woman claimed to have seen a vision about a church theme. She was so enthusiastic about it but it seemed rather unlikely with the response her fellow women in the church were giving. Then the next guy to step up wanted to beat her testimony. He spent 15 minutes just trying to tell us he was alone at home because his kids are in uni, he went on to tell us their various jamb scores, we really needed to know his wife was in Ethiopia, blah, blah, blah, he’s in a large home alone. OK. Lame way to brag. At the end of it he simply wanted to tell us that he’s the one opening the gate for himself. (Do I need to mention the time he came to testify about a dog that fell into his father’s grave before they put the coffin in it? Soooooo dumb as there was no testimony, he just wanted to tell us that.)Then the next woman who came on stage wanted everyone to know that she was not left out of it, she mentioned that she likes to fly, that she doesn’t use transport. “You know, I don’t like to use transport”. Isn’t air travel a means of transport? I never understood her point until someone mentioned that she was referring to road transportation as”transport” which is stupid not to mention conceited. I’m very serious about these three dumb “testimonies”. It felt like each was coming up to try and give a more exciting story than the previous testifier. The last one is actually funny because of her emphasis on transport and how importantly she said it when it actually is stupid.
I have once listened to a testimony on TV where one woman said she used to involve herself in salon business (fixing weavon, plaiting people’s hair with attachment etc ),but she has repented.
Most of them are actually fabricated and unnecessary.
A woman will come out, sing for 5mins, only for her to testify that she slept and woke up today. Like WTF, don’t we all have that same testimony?
This particular lady testified about how her uncle in the village who had locked up her destiny and that of her two siblings died the day after she hit and killed a bat while driving at night
Two days later, She and her younger Bro died in a ghastly car accident…
One Sunday she testified about killing a bat uncle….the next Sunday her Obituary Poster was on the church gate
I guess that her uncle achieved in death what he couldn’t achieve in life
A woman once testified concerning her son in my church, so the boys peni.s was stolen by would be ritualist, after series of prayers by a pastor, the peni.s was restored. Praise God ryt?. Well it didn’t end there, she further said they took the boy to go nd test the peni.s on a prostitute. The whole church went silent.
A woman put Lords chosen sticker in her gas..
And she did not fill it for 2yrs
if you want to hear funny testimony just attend Sign Fireman church in Surulere.
A woman shared a testimony of how the Prophet asked everyone to raise their money last Sunday that after the prayers she took her 1k to the market and so she spent the money buying two bags of foodstuff and still she was still left with 300 naira.
I was just vexed and i asked a lady close to me if it was possible and she said that nothing God cannot do. I just knew that the lady was more stupid than the woman testifying
Aproko Girl (INC)Lekki Phase 1 (Lagos State , Nigeria)