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 I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship (Adults Only Read)

 Good morning everyone

I have been single for a long while now not because I can’t get a girlfriend but because each time I want to start a relationship, I become very sad as my past begins to hunt me and I immediately cut all ties.

-The past –

I had a girlfriend when I was 18 years old, she was 19 met her in a church and so I thought she was God sent because I loved her soooo much and I swear then I could give me life and kill for her!
We were both jambites then waiting for admission, we dated for a year and then we both got admitted into separate universities, that was how our problem started.

She suddenly changed after she got into uni, she was not longer paying attention to me. She no longer picks my call, whenever she picks my calls she will give flimsy excuses like her being really busy with school.
She started to demand for money almost all the time of which I do send to her if I have but she never let me visit her in school except when we are on holidays we see Back home.
And then I got a text from her after few months of her acting strange that she has a boyfriend now who she intends to spend the rest of her life with and that I should move on.

I was devastated!
It was like the world came crashing down on me.
I pleaded with her all to no avail.
And then I moved on.

But now I am not able to stay in a relationship because I am soo scared that the girl I am with might change in me just like my ex did, I always get this thought in my head “people change, what if this girl changes on you?” i get very scared and leave the relationship.

I want this to stop but I don’t know how to make this stop.
The pain my ex caused me left a scar and each time I look at the scar I don’t want anything to do with any woman because I feel they will break my heart sooner or later and only time will tell…

but I’m scared if I continue like this I might not be able to have a family of my own, have kids. We all want that. But I don’t want my woman to leave me after a while. Because I did everything I could for my ex she left….

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Lekki Phase 1 (Lagos State , Nigeria)
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